Thursday, April 22, 2010

My Tribute to Mom and Dad Part 4

Over the next decade, mom and I would share a life completely devoid of the things I shared with dad. Girl things, like buying clothes at Martha's store (her cousin-in-law), eating out together, going to the mall, going to gospel concerts, buying a new car, and driving her out-of-state to visit relatives.

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At church mom got involved with different fashion shows for the "older" ladies. She and her granddaughter were in the one pictured below.


Other times of fun involved mom and her friends supporting the foreign missions with their "Global Babes" program. The picture below was after the program. (Mom is the far right Babe.)




My prayer was for the LORD to take us both in the Rapture. Maybe that was my mistake for her having to suffer for so long; my selfishness, the one prayer God allowed to be answered.
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Mom began to get tired. Her legs began to give out on her. After extensive tests, mom was diagnosed with arterial blockage. She went through having several stints put in to finally by-pass surgery. Mom never seemed to make a come back from the latter surgery.


The doctors switched her to insulin instead of the pills. She never liked the idea of needles, but soon it became a matter of habit. This is when mom retired from bookkeeping at the church. The year that followed was a year of misery for her. She didn't know what to do with herself. She had no hobbies but reading. She was bored to tears. She didn't have the strength to do anything even if she wanted to. Numerous times in the wee hours of the morning, I would wake up to hear her quietly crying as she lay in her bed. She was continually tired. She began sleeping in to 10:30 or later; not even realizing it was that late.
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One day when I came home from work she was asleep in her chair and had forgotten to take some of her medications. The doctors had her on so many pills a day, I don't even know how she previously had kept up with them all. She had gotten to where she would hardly eat during the day. For dinner, I would fix foods she liked, but she ate very little.
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Christmas 2001, Mom got up tired as usual. We were to have breakfast at our house with Jim, Nellie, and mom's grandchildren. She really didn't feel well. Christmas came and went. Mom had made it through the holiday. Then three days later, it happened.
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Mom had gone into her bedroom to change her clothes to go get her hair done. The phone rang. I had talked a while when I realized mom had not asked who it was on the phone. I said good-bye and went in to check on her. She stood in a stupor not knowing how to put on her clothes. As I spotted the still filled needle of insulin on the counter, I first thought she was going into insulin shock. But then, the tale-tell signs of a stroke began to show. Her lip drooped with drool coming out. Her right hand was limp and her speech was slurred as she told me she wasn't ready yet. She didn't even realize anything was wrong.
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I called our neighbors who were a nurse and paramedic. The phone line was busy, so I ran over to their house to get help. Alice had already gone to work. Boddy called 911 on the way back to the house. We came in to find mom had herself dressed, but the signs of stroke had worsened. It seemed an eternity between that time and the time mom was transported to the hospital.
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It was the weekend. That Saturday mom went from being able to move a little and slurred speech to a deep coma. She had had a massive stroke, which the doctors had labeled "pretty significant." Her kidneys had stopped and needed to be jump started by dialysis.


For a year and a half mom would go two steps forward and three back. She fought like a trooper. But the roller coaster ride we felt we were on, soon had mom give in to its tedious exhaustion. I didn't know what to pray for anymore. The previous prayers for better health seemed to not have had any response from the LORD. I gave in and recanted my prayer for us going together in the Rapture. I gave her up to the LORD. I ask the LORD to take her Home with Him. Still, there was no response from the LORD. I began to question if there was something in my life that was the cause for mom not being released from her agonizing suffering. Again, there was no response from the LORD. I began to get angry and lash out, "God, are you there! Don't do this to me again!" No sooner had the words come out of my mouth, my mind began to be flooded with the scriptures of God putting Job in his place, "Where were you when I formed the world..." Who are you to question my timing...
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The proverbial little bird that was never kicked out of the nest, now finds the nest and itself abandoned...but only by my earthly parents. In Hebrews 13:5 my Heavenly Father has promised, "I will never leave you nor forsake you." My heart has such release to know that mom and dad don't have to struggle with the things of this world anymore. Now God says, "Susan, cling unto Me. Get on with the life I have planned for you."




As for my original question, "What can I say about my mom?" She was a mom who was nurturing, caring, loving, and sharing. I'll remember always, her gentleness, kindness, patience, and especially her long-suffering. I'll never forget the times she was in deep study of God's Word with her Bible, dictionaries, references, and commentaries. Fond memories will include her laughter, joy, and the plain giddiness of us both from sitting up so late our overtired minds could only respond with giggles. But most of all, I'll remember from now right on into Eternity that she is my mom who loves the LORD with all her heart, soul, and mind.
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I love you, mom.



4 comments:

Janet said...

Susie

Once again I have tears in my eyes as you share your love for your mother with us and your story of letting go. I still have my mom but I live so far from her. We do talk often. Thank you for sharing your story of love.

Blessings
Janet

Nellie's Cozy Place said...

Good Post Susan!
Sad to remember tho all she went thru!!
but glad she is having the time of her life
with the Lord now!!
There anniversary will be coming up soon,
how long would they have been married??
I spoke to Juanita Laurine on the phone a few days ago, and Larry is 90 now and has alzheimers and she is 87 and sounds good,
they will celebrate their 69th Anniversary
in August. Don't think I have ever known anybody personally that has been married that long. Amazing!!

Nellie's Cozy Place said...

Oh yea, I always thought that pic of her and Dee was sooo cute!

Bonnie said...

What an amazing story, Susie. You have been a wonderful daughter. It is not easy to fill in for a lost spouse and it sounds like you did a tremendous job of it.

I did the same with my mom for 13 years. Very difficult and very rewarding also. I always thought the silver lining was because of the way you serve them, you love them in ways you never would have otherwise. It sort of makes the circle of life complete as they once did it for us.